Showing posts with label Suicide. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Suicide. Show all posts

Sunday, September 18, 2016

We Need to Talk About Suicide!


Today as my memories came on Facebook, I was flooded with pictures of my brother Jason. 1 year ago today he ended his own life. We need to talk about this. #stopsuicide #bethevoice #youmatter#lifeisbeautiful #thereishelp

Suicide is a serious problem in our homes, schools, churches, and communities. It does not spare people of any race, religion, age group, gender, sexual orientation, or marital status. It is a complicated issue that we don’t fully comprehend. There is seldom a single cause or a simple solution. #morehelpformentalillness #breakthestigma#outofthedarkness

Suicide is now the most common cause of death for Utah children between the ages of 10 and 17. Your child is more likely to commit suicide than to drown or die in a car accident or any other way one might lose a child.

Some suggestions:

1. Know the warning signs of depression and suicide. They can be different for males and females. They can be different in adults than in children. They can be small and easy to chalk up to other factors. Talk to your children. Get them help. Get yourself help. #bipolar #depression#suicideawareness #mentalhealthmatters

2. Put the SafeUT app (or a similar app) on your phone and your kids' phones. Kids are unlikely to call a hotline. An app is more approachable to them.

3. Don't have firearms in your home. Yes, I know this is an offensive thought to many. 45% of youth suicides are by firearm and over 54% for adults. Keeping them locked up is a good first step. If you think a determined teenager can't figure out how to access your locked firearms you might want to think again. Could your kid commit suicide by another means? Yes. Youth are naturally impulsive. Impulsiveness + depression/a triggering event + access to firearms = deadly

4. Don't be afraid to say something. Don't be afraid to ask someone if they are thinking of hurting themselves. You won't be giving them the idea. #preventsuicide #mentalhealth #suicide

5. Be kind. To yourself and others.

As for Jason, I know he is at peace and is no longer in pain. I am so grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ in my life, I know I will see him again. #loveoneanother #familiesareforever#tillwemeetagain #LDS #missionarymomma #mybrother #suicideawarnessmonth





National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Call 1-800-273-8255
Available 24 hours everyday

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

#4 Fibromyalgia - The Dark Days and Day by Day

Because of my health issues and my blood pressure I had to go back on my medications. Again finding out what works for you takes some time and over time there had been changes here and there.

Since I had done pretty good on one of my meds before I had Lindsay my Dr put me back on that one, but I wasn’t feeling better this time. So he added a second medication for my depression. I felt great for the first time in a while; I thought we had found it, something that would really help me. But I as look back, I see I was slipping away as a person. The dose was so strong, I became unable to feel any emotion, happy or sad. I was just here and yet no where. I felt that I was spinning into darkness. My thoughts would speak to me so loudly. but yet I felt that no one was hearing me.


I doubted my worth, and yet I knew better. As months went by, my family grew more and more concerned for me. For some reason I felt I had hit the end. I remember that day very well; I was at church on that first Sunday in June last year (2007) I was sitting at the end of the bench with my head down, feeling nothing but that I was so lonely and lost. I got up, left and went home. Once home I walked around a little, I changed my clothes, then took a large handful of pills and went to my bed, I put a belt around my neck as tight as I could make it go and laid down.


I don’t think that I really wanted to end my life that day; 
I just wanted rest and to feel some peace. Donny had a feeling to come home, he found me with the belt around my neck and ripped it off. Very upset with me and scared, he called my Mom. I rested that evening, and then went to my Dr the next morning. They were seeing if I was going to hurt myself again. I stopped taking the two medications immediately. The problem was the two of them together. I was sent to a Psychologist and started therapy. I only had a few sessions, and was put on yet another medication. It was a slow recovery. The new medication added 25 pounds to my frame in just 3 months, adding more to my depression and also to my pain. So after 6 months I went off that one. I guess when it’s a choice between life or death, being fat is not a problem.




Mom & Christi
At Mom’s Ward Picnic - June 2007
(about two weeks after that very dark day)


So here I am back on the original medication I was on, taking things one day at a time. I still struggle with pain and fatigue and can still feel very alone. But I have also found things that help me. First - good healthy food, drinking lots of water and getting enough sleep (I have to take naps). Gentle exercise, sunlight and fresh air, Good music, Prayer, Knowing my limits and saying "No, I can’t do it this time." (It’s okay to say No) Priesthood blessings anytime I feel I need one. Laughter and good friends that love me. I also know that my Father Heaven loves me and knows me by my first name.

We are constantly beating ourselves up, STOP it!. So do not judge each other, we do not know, we do not always see the hurt and struggles they are going through. Let us be more aware, sensitive and kinder to each other. Lets us love unconditionally, serve one another and hug each other. You can only do your best and move on.


People like to ask me all the time “how are doing?” I’m not sure how to answer that question. Do they really want to know HOW I am doing? Most of the time I say, “I am here and I am hanging in” Each day brings different challenges, but it brings rewards too.

I am blessed to be alive, even if I suffer daily. I am blessed to have a wonderful husband and the gift of being a mother. It can be so totally frustrating and at the same time so amazing. I am blessed to have the gospel in my life, and I am grateful for the Atonement, that I need so often.

I have opened myself to you so that you might understand more. That this life is a journey and not a destination, and that we can and should help each other a long the way.


National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Call 1-800-273-8255
Available 24 hours everyday