We Need to Talk About Suicide!

Today as my memories came on Facebook, I was flooded with pictures of my brother Jason. 1 year ago today he ended his own life. We need to talk about this. #stopsuicide #bethevoice #youmatter#lifeisbeautiful #thereishelp

Suicide is a serious problem in our homes, schools, churches, and communities. It does not spare people of any race, religion, age group, gender, sexual orientation, or marital status. It is a complicated issue that we don’t fully comprehend. There is seldom a single cause or a simple solution. #morehelpformentalillness #breakthestigma#outofthedarkness

Suicide is now the most common cause of death for Utah children between the ages of 10 and 17. Your child is more likely to commit suicide than to drown or die in a car accident or any other way one might lose a child.
Some suggestions:

1. Know the warning signs of depression and suicide. They can be different for males and females. They can be different in adults than in children. They can be small and easy to chalk up to other factors. Talk to your children. Get them help. Get yourself help. #bipolar #depression#suicideawareness #mentalhealthmatters

2. Put the SafeUT app (or a similar app) on your phone and your kids' phones. Kids are unlikely to call a hotline. An app is more approachable to them.

3. Don't have firearms in your home. Yes, I know this is an offensive thought to many. 45% of youth suicides are by firearm and over 54% for adults. Keeping them locked up is a good first step. If you think a determined teenager can't figure out how to access your locked firearms you might want to think again. Could your kid commit suicide by another means? Yes. Youth are naturally impulsive. Impulsiveness + depression/a triggering event + access to firearms = deadly

4. Don't be afraid to say something. Don't be afraid to ask someone if they are thinking of hurting themselves. You won't be giving them the idea. #preventsuicide #mentalhealth #suicide

5. Be kind. To yourself and others.

As for Jason, I know he is at peace and is no longer in pain. I am so grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ in my life, I know I will see him again. #loveoneanother #familiesareforever#tillwemeetagain #LDS #missionarymomma #mybrother #suicideawarnessmonth

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Call 1-800-273-8255
Available 24 hours everyday

Our Mind, Body and Soul are Connected.

Our mind, body and soul are connected. It is through these connections that our lives manifest. We see evidence of that all around us in how we feel and how we act. When we don’t get enough sleep the chain reaction starts from exhaustion – leading to emotionally eating to get through the day - then snapping at your child because they have spilled one too many drinks on the floor that day. This is a simplified example of what can occur; but what if the opposite scenario is possible? It can be!

Picture a mother centered and rested. It may seem like an impossibility to say ‘mother and rested’ in the same sentence. But the rest you are seeking can be like the eye of a storm. The storm is still raging all around a mother but in the center – is where the calm resides. A day that is full of possibilities, fun and love - even if the baby didn’t sleep all night! Why are you feeling depleted? What are your inner beliefs about yourself and life?

We all have tipping points where we see our story isn’t what we dreamed it would be. We see the signs in our physical health, our relationships and in our business experiences. With fear, anger and avoiding behaviors we find ourselves in crisis. You may be cycling in ways that feel shameful such as addictions. The market is flooded with guide books, experts and practitioners to help fix our problems. But the answers, to what we perceive as life’s problems, are found inside our souls. How do we find those answers? Where is the balance we all are seeking? Where can you refine, refocus and respond authentically to your life? These subjects are discussed in the Soul Essentials curriculum. Here you will learn more about slowing down and sitting still so you can get up and move more joyfully through life.

Ganel-Lyn K. Condie

Follow Your Dreams to a New Life

Pursue Your True Mission

Many of us feel disconnected from what we are doing in life. We get up, go to work, do what we must, and come home exhausted. We feel defined by our jobs, our responsibilities, and our problems rather than being defined by a purpose and mission in life. The older we get, the more challenging it is to remember our dreams.

Now is the time to find the inspiration and stamina to pursue what is important to you--despite the economic crisis. Even if you are overwhelmed with work and family, carve out the time to invest in discovering and pursuing your true mission in life. Here's how to get started.

Success Is Not Always About Money

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Money is not the true measure of a successful life and it does not buy happiness. Don't equate material success with achieving dreams. They are not one and the same. Some people have everything they ever wanted and they are still unhappy. If you have sacrificed your dreams for money, or are pushing your dreams aside for lack of funds, you will miss out on a meaningful life. Ponder ways you can do meaningful work, have a good home life, and help make the world a better place.

Imagine Loving Your Life

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Take a good, long look at your life and the choices you have made. Are you fulfilled and engaged in living, or just going through the motions to get through the day and pay the bills? If the answer to the last question is yes, reconsider the direction in which you would like to take your life. Give deep thought to what would satisfy you. Imagine a life you love getting up for each day!

Assess Your Priorities

If you have lost track of your dreams, it could be because you have forgotten what is most important to you. Perhaps your aspirations have been lost in the chaos of daily living. Spend time reflecting on the kind of experiences that would help you feel more alive--and engage in those activities. If learning, discovering, and meeting new people are priorities, seek more opportunities to pursue these pleasures. If family, health, and spirituality are important, don't throw them over. Balance your life to reflect what matters to you most.

Who Do You Want to Be?

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Figure out who you want to be and what you want to do. Many of us ignore our dreams in the interest of providing for our families, or because we think we don't deserve them--but all that does is leave us unhappy and listless. If this describes you, spend some time deciding what you want to do and be. Allow your imagination to bring you insights and ideas, and know that if you can imagine it, you can create it

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Cultivate Faith in a Higher Power

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We get lost sometimes in our personal dramas. It helps to feel connected to the bigger picture. If you find solace in believing in God, embrace that satisfaction; however, you don't have to subscribe to a particular faith to be a spiritual person, or to benefit from a daily dose of energy from your spiritual practice of choice. Make connecting with a universal energy a part of your everyday experience, and you will find your faith in humankind, life, and yourself restored.

Inspire Your Family to Dream

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Some people are mired in responsibilities and can never see their way clear to putting their own hopes at the top of the list. Don't let your obligations prevent you from pursuing your dreams. Your dreams didn't cease to exist the day your kids were born. Sure, you're here to encourage their dreams; but don't abandon yours in the meantime. Your effort to achieve your own dreams sends your children a healthy message about life and how to live.

Don't Let Others Discourage You

There will be people who put down your dreams or discourage you. Don't let them rain on your parade! It may be tough to stand up to those who want to bring you down, but if you live your life looking for approval, you will never be free. Try to avoid people who like to criticize, or don't listen to them. Believe in yourself and work hard to attain what you want out of life.

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Claim Your Dream

Make a choice to take action, if even just a few small steps. Start by writing down a new definition for your life. Who would you be if you were living your dreams?

Without overanalyzing, act straight from your gut and make a list of the kind of relationships, family life, career and adventures you would like to be living. Also jot down the qualities you would embrace (confidence, happiness, great self-esteem, prosperity, etc).

Allow yourself to believe and you will find yourself building momentum that will carry you closer to your dreams. Before you know it, you will be living the new life you once only imagined.

Laura Stack is a motivational speaker and the best-selling author of The Exhaustion Cure" (2008); "Find More Time" (2006); and "Leave the Office Earlier" (2004).

http://www.beliefnet.com/

7 Ways to Discover Joy

Find More Joy in Life

Many of us reach a point when our lives become routine, dull, and thankless. We lose our sense of meaning and direction. There seems to be a lack of purpose and feelings of hopelessness permeate our very being. We do reach a time when we are tired of being emotionally constipated and seek out ways to break this numbing cycle. The time has come to venture into something new.

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Listen to Music

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Select songs that will make you happy or if you haven't cried for a long time, select songs that will induce sadness. The release of tears will help you let go of what ever is keeping you stuck.

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Follow Your Dream

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If you have had a long term dream of writing a book, opening a store, moving to the country or running for political office, now is the time to pursue that dream instead of merely fantasizing about it.

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Let Go of Grief

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You may havebeen deeply hurt during your childhood. One of your parents may have died abruptly or you may have been abused. If you are having difficulty forming and keeping relationships and if you have had a loss or traumatic event years ago and it seems like it happened yesterday, you may be suffering from stuck grief. Seeking out a psychotherapist or an appropriate self-help group may be very helpful.

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Change Your Job

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If have been working at the same job for a long time, perhaps it is time for a change. It is difficult sometimes to know when you have outgrown your current position and you stay because it is familiar and secure. However, the lack of new challenges is deadly for your personal growth and creativity. It may be time to move on.

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Celebrate Your Positive Changes

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We tend to focus on the negative aspects of our being and the positive parts of us tend to be overlooked or ignored. Tune in to the positive changes you may have recently made such as: "I used to be so reactive and now I am able to stop and think before I blurt out something that will be hurtful." "I can now walk for three miles without getting exhausted."

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Give to Your Community

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Volunteering to help those less fortunate than you will not only be appreciated by many, it will also reward you spiritually and allow you to connect with others who are helping and receiving assistance. This activity will move you out of the intellectual realm and into your emotional world.

Decide to Break Your Addiction

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Whether you are addicted to substances, another person, video games or anything else, getting assistance and eventually breaking your addiction will eventually make you a happier, more productive person.

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Psychotherapist Bob Livingstone is the author of "The Body-Mind-Soul Solution: Healing Emotional Pain Through Exercise" (Pegasus Books, 2007). He specializes in helping victims of trauma. For more on his work with emotional healing, visit http://www.boblivingstone.com/

Our Path More Difficult, Our Journey a Little Longer

We have come so far and but we are not there yet. This has not been easy but we know it has been necessary. This is a follow up (refer to the post Because Sometimes it's Hard....) When dealing with mental illness, in this case extreme anxiety and depression the mind perceives the world so large and scary, to find a place where words and emotions come together to understand what is being felt and why. There are more feelings than just happy, mad and sad and sometimes that is as far we get. This has been a learning experience for all of us, using words to express how and what we are feeling, accepting disappointment, dealing with change, and loving who we are for who we are.

What is normal and who is normal?? We base our opinions and judgments on what, who, and why do we do that? It has been a two steps forward and one step back processes. Also in the learning has been the time involved, at first we thought it would be 6 weeks, a doable number. We are now at 4 months and we will be looking at closer to 6 - 7 months. Wanting a quick fix than soon realizing these things take time, maybe a life time.

One day at a time, where am I at and how well am I doing. The If and Then principle, setting realistic goals, being honest with ourselves, I mean REALLY honest. It is not as easy as you think. To be so exposed it hurts, that is where we had to get to mend and move forward. We cannot always change the things around us but we can learn to change our view of it. I am so proud of my child; she at times has become the teacher. Could I do what she is doing, I don't know. It takes amazing strength to do what she is doing. I love you so much. We are with you on this journey as long as it takes and that might be a life time.

Thank you

Thank you for all the kind words of support and prayers in our behalf. This has meant a lot to me and our family. Some are a little more aware of the situation then others. We have had to put one of our children in a residential behavioral treatment center today and they will be there for 8 weeks or so. This was a very hard decision for us, but we know it is what we needed to do. We have felt the peace and reassurance that the Lord's hand has been involved.

Because Sometimes it's Hard....

As I sit here and write this post, I woke up early and could not go back to sleep. I usually can't fall asleep, so to get up early for me never really happens.

My heart is heavy and my mind is full. I have been thinking about what it means to be a mother and what really that title involves, one of the biggest joys and one of the hardest things you will ever do. See, we are Mothers forever, our role never ends. As our children are born and grow the dynamics of the family changes, with the first child you experience all the firsts. Then you soon realize you have to set guidelines that you will need to put in place as each child reaches a certain age.

You also soon find out how different each little person is, and what works for one doesn’t always work for all. Each child is on a journey, just like you and me. In reality that could be further along spiritually than we are. I know we as parents think we are older and know more than they do and for the most part we do. We have more experience and knowledge. But there is a lot that we can learn from them.
Then when things aren’t right or there seems to be a problem. Who is to help that child, but us their parent. We are their advocate; we are to fight and protect them and then sometimes let them fall flat on their face. It’s not easy to watch your child suffer.

It’s hard to have to make decisions that can and will affect their life forever. Am I doing what is right? Am I doing the best I can? Only you can work through that with the Lord. So can or should we judge others, no? We do not know the situation. Our challenges differ but we all have them. Lets us love more, judge less. Lets us smile and hug each other along this journey of life. Let us lift when others are down.
The point of this post is that I am having to make a very hard decision for my child that I love and yet suffers everyday, in turn causes me and the rest of the family to suffer. I need to give this child the tools they will need to cope and deal with the rest of their life. But I can not do this by myself anymore, I know that now. When the issue is too big and beyond my abilities to help. Because it is hard to let go and to do what is needed. I pray the Lord will guide and direct me in all I do, and I pray for love and support even when I do not feel that I deserve it. May my heart and mind be given peace that I need.

Let me vent...............

I love my husband, my children (all 9+1 of them), my family and having the gospel in my life. I love to blog, facebook and doing "Our" Family Newsletters. But sometimes it's not all just happy go lucky.

Having a child with mental illness and behavior problems, telling me everyday that they hate me and how stupid I am, can be discouraging. I really can’t “do” anything right for this child.

It’s a daily battle from the morning until I get this child to sleep, which can be as late as 2:00am. Getting this child to school is an all out fight. Even though this child is so bright, talented, and has an amazing testimony. I know it is a battle for them too, with mind, body and spirit.

Is my battle any harder then others? NO, I know many suffer with challenges much harder than mine. My heart and love goes out to you. I guess I am asking for understanding and love. We do not always see the hurt and struggles of others. Let us be aware, sensitive and kinder to each other.

#4 Fibromyalgia - The Dark Days and Day by Day

Because of my health issues and my blood pressure I had to go back on my medications. Again finding out what works for you takes some time and over time there had been changes here and there.

Since I had done pretty good on one of my meds before I had Lindsay my Dr put me back on that one, but I wasn’t feeling better this time. So he added a second medication for my depression. I felt great for the first time in a while; I thought we had found it, something that would really help me. But I as look back, I see I was slipping away as a person. The dose was so strong, I became unable to feel any emotion, happy or sad. I was just here and yet no where. I felt that I was spinning into darkness. My thoughts would speak to me so loudly. but yet I felt that no one was hearing me.

I doubted my worth, and yet I knew better. As months went by, my family grew more and more concerned for me. For some reason I felt I had hit the end. I remember that day very well; I was at church on that first Sunday in June last year (2007) I was sitting at the end of the bench with my head down, feeling nothing but that I was so lonely and lost. I got up, left and went home. Once home I walked around a little, I changed my clothes, then took a large handful of pills and went to my bed, I put a belt around my neck as tight as I could make it go and laid down.

I don’t think that I really wanted to end my life that day; I just wanted rest and to feel some peace. Donny had a feeling to come home, he found me with the belt around my neck and ripped it off. Very upset with me and scared, he called my Mom. I rested that evening, and then went to my Dr the next morning. They were seeing if I was going to hurt myself again. I stopped taking the two medications immediately. The problem was the two of them together. I was sent to a Psychologist and started therapy. I only had a few sessions, and was put on yet another medication. It was a slow recovery. The new medication added 25 pounds to my frame in just 3 months, adding more to my depression and also to my pain. So after 6 months I went off that one. I guess when it’s a choice between life or death, being fat is not a problem.

Mom & Christi

At Mom’s Ward Picnic - June 2007

(about two weeks after that very dark day)

So here I am back on the original medication I was on, taking things one day at a time. I still struggle with pain and fatigue and can still feel very alone. But I have also found things that help me. First - good healthy food, drinking lots of water and getting enough sleep (I have to take naps). Gentle exercise, sunlight and fresh air, Good music, Prayer, Knowing my limits and saying "No, I can’t do it this time." (It’s okay to say No) Priesthood blessings anytime I feel I need one. Laughter and good friends that love me. I also know that my Father Heaven loves me and knows me by my first name.

We are constantly beating ourselves up, STOP it!. So do not judge each other, we do not know, we do not always see the hurt and struggles they are going through. Let us be more aware, sensitive and kinder to each other. Lets us love unconditionally, serve one another and hug each other. You can only do your best and move on.

People like to ask me all the time “how are doing?” I’m not sure how to answer that question. Do they really want to know HOW I am doing? Most of the time I say, “I am here and I am hanging in” Each day brings different challenges, but it brings rewards too.

I am blessed to be alive, even if I suffer daily. I am blessed to have a wonderful husband and the gift of being a mother. It can be so totally frustrating and at the same time so amazing. I am blessed to have the gospel in my life, and I am grateful for the Atonement, that I need so often.

I have opened myself to you so that you might understand more. That this life is a journey and not a destination, and that we can and should help each other a long the way.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Call 1-800-273-8255
Available 24 hours everyday

#stopsuicide #bethevoice #youmatter #lifeisbeautiful 
#thereishelp #morehelpformentalillness 
#breakthestigma
 #outofthedarkness #bipolar #depression 
#suicideawareness #mentalhealthmatters

#preventsuicide #mentalhealth #suicide 
#loveoneanother #familiesareforever #LDS