Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Because Sometimes it's Hard....

As I sit here and write this post, I woke up early and could not go back to sleep. I usually can't fall asleep, so to get up early for me never really happens.

My heart is heavy and my mind is full. I have been thinking about what it means to be a mother and what really that title involves, one of the biggest joys and one of the hardest things you will ever do. See, we are Mothers forever, our role never ends. As our children are born and grow the dynamics of the family changes, with the first child you experience all the firsts. Then you soon realize you have to set guidelines that you will need to put in place as each child reaches a certain age.

You also soon find out how different each little person is, and what works for one doesn’t always work for all. Each child is on a journey, just like you and me. In reality that could be further along spiritually than we are. I know we as parents think we are older and know more than they do and for the most part we do. We have more experience and knowledge. But there is a lot that we can learn from them.
Then when things aren’t right or there seems to be a problem. Who is to help that child, but us their parent. We are their advocate; we are to fight and protect them and then sometimes let them fall flat on their face. It’s not easy to watch your child suffer.

It’s hard to have to make decisions that can and will affect their life forever. Am I doing what is right? Am I doing the best I can? Only you can work through that with the Lord. So can or should we judge others, no? We do not know the situation. Our challenges differ but we all have them. Lets us love more, judge less. Lets us smile and hug each other along this journey of life. Let us lift when others are down.
The point of this post is that I am having to make a very hard decision for my child that I love and yet suffers everyday, in turn causes me and the rest of the family to suffer. I need to give this child the tools they will need to cope and deal with the rest of their life. But I can not do this by myself anymore, I know that now. When the issue is too big and beyond my abilities to help. Because it is hard to let go and to do what is needed. I pray the Lord will guide and direct me in all I do, and I pray for love and support even when I do not feel that I deserve it. May my heart and mind be given peace that I need.


Lisa said...

I love you. I love her. I love your family. You are in our prayers.

The Tanners said...

Hi Sweetheart, I love you so much. Yes, things are hard sometimes when it comes to raising children. With some harder than others. The pain is so great some times you think your heart will burst. The love is so great that is why it does hurt so bad. You could never hurt so bad, if you had not loved as much. You know you are in our prayers, the Lord loves you and is aware of all things. He has to watch his children struggle, some more than others. One the most of all, for all.

The Lehnick Family said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you...I feel overwhelmed sometimes with circumstances I am in as a are right, we all have some situations that are much harder to deal with than others and no one should judge you...the Lord knows you best of all and all of his children inside and out! I know the challenges with our little Brayden are just beginning and I just have to take one day at a time...sometimes minute by minute works too...try to not overwhelm yourself too much as this does wear you down...I know I don't know your situation...but know that I will be thinking of you during this time.