Egads, people act like you have 2 heads when they find out how many children you have in a big family.
Walking around the store with all the littles in a row and baby in the sling, you can see the heads bobbing as they count and hear all the "tsk tsk's".
So tired of it.
You parents of large families know what I am talking about.
And when they hear we want more children?
Yes, we are from Mars, thank you very much.
So, from now on, I refuse to let those remarks get to me. Instead, I plan to have fun with the following comebacks!
1) "You have your hands full!"
- Yes, happily so!
- Yes, and my heart too.
- Don't say anything, just look puzzled at your hands. (This does obviously not work if you are carrying a baby :-)
- Yes, but I would rather have my hands full than empty!
2) "Are they all yours?"
- No, I just went to Rent-a-Child.
- No, this is not all of them, my oldest is at home with the triplets. HEHE!
- No, actually two are the mailman's and I am not sure whose is that one.....
- No, I picked up a couple extra in the produce aisle.
- Gee, I never heard that question before!
- Of course they are..wait..who is that one? He's not ours.....oh,yeah, 6 , I forgot I had him.
- I don't know. How many do you count?
- Yes. But if you have any you don't want, I'll gladly take them, too .
- No. I've been an avid collector for years and just picked these up in the dairy section.
- Yes, at least that's what I tell my husband.
- Why do you want to know?
- Well, not today.
- Yes, I always want just one more.
- Check back in nine months and you'll see for yourself.
3) "Don't you know what causes that?"
- No, please tell me!
- Of course, don't you?
- Yes, we do know what causes that and we like it very much, thank you.
- Oh yes, we finally figured it out and we now keep the tooth brushes in separate glasses.
- Oh yes, I now wash my husband's underwear separately.
- Smile brightly and say with enthusiasm "Yes and we like it!"
- You bet I do!
- Yes, and as you only have two children obviously you don't do it much.
- Yes, and it is something I am very good at...
- Of course, and the Lord has greatly blessed us!
- A strong husband/wife relationship, big hearts, and the Lord's blessing.
4) "Are you going to get fixed?"
- Nope, I am not broken!
- Huh, we thought everything was working fine for us.
- We didn't know anything was broken.
- Don't you only fix things that aren't working properly?
- Well as you can see be the size of OUR family everything is in working order. :o) (You have to say this last one with the kinda "I'm not too bright so your question seems kinda foolish don't you think?" attitude.)
5) "I can't believe how you do it, I cannot even handle my two!"
- Yes, if I had children like yours, I wouldn't have any more either!
- Yes, you don't strike me as the type who could handle more children than that.
- I put knobs on the children. Makes them easier to handle.
- Everyone has 24 hours in a day, it is just how you use it.
- Oh, I just do it. Wake up in the morning, do what you have to do all day, go to bed when it's done.
- Oh, straight jackets and handcuffs!
6) "Are you planning to have any more?" Or "You're done now, right?"
- I've been wondering about this and maybe you can explain it to me: I always thought you had to plan NOT to have more.
- Before we were married we planned on having 2, but I didn't know that my husband and I couldn't count!
- Well, we didn't plan the first six, I don't think we'll plan the next six, either.
7) "I hope you aren't planning to have anymore?!?"
- You mean, I just figured out what I'm really, really good at, and you're telling me to stop doing it?
- Talk to God about it... it's up to Him.
- Well, we do have room in our Yukon for 1 more. LOL!!!!!
- OK, I won't plan my next one. Surprises can be fun!
- Yup we are going to keep going till we get an ugly one.
- Well we really want to see how many combinations we can come up with.
8) "Haven't you heard of birth control?"
- Yes, I've heard of it, I hope you are using it!
- Oh yes, we do know what birth control is; it's for people who don't want children.
9) "Don't you have a television?"
- No, we have much better things to do at night!
- Yes 4 of them. Why?
10) "How can you afford having so many?"
- Lifestyles are expensive not children.
- We're not on welfare, in huge amounts of debt, and no, my husband is not a doctor or lawyer. We just budget well.
- I figure you spend what you make, you may as well spend it on something worth it...like children.
- You don't know my financial backer! (God, of course)
- I'm still not sure how we do it...but it works!
11) "I am glad it is you and not me!"
- Yes, me too!
- My children are glad it's me and not you too! ;o)
- Oh me too! I love being a mother! (And smile real BIG!)
12) "Do you get any time for yourselves?"
- Obviously we get a little time to ourselves, or we wouldn't have six children.
13) "Did you give birth to all of them?"
- Yes, I gave birth to them all. Do you really believe the stork dropped them off?
14) "Are you going to have 19 children too?" (Like the Duggar's.)
- If only we could be as blessed as that family!
- It would be an honor to compete with them!
15) When people just keep staring at your family....
- Yes, they all are mine!
- No, we don't try to overpopulate the earth. We are just trying to outnumber the idiots!